A history of Attenborough, and of the world in 100 objects.

Been very much enjoying the David Attenborough Early Years collection, placed on-line recently by BBC 4. Not only is it bizarre to find myself fancying the venerable Mr Attenborough when he wanders around the outback shirtless, but the sight of him breaking open a termite mound with a sledgehammer (to show the viewers its insides) are a perplexing demonstration of how far TV's come.

Plus (of course) they're generally brilliant and highly informative documentaries, however rough around the edges 1950s and 1960s television may have been. I'm rather taken with the cultural films Attenborough made as well, back in the days before he became synonymous with animal and nature programming.

In a similar vein, today I've been thrilled to find that the excellent radio series A History of the World in 100 Objects, is online for free download also. A definite must listen.

I think if we ever lose the BBC, I may just kill myself.

Gimcrack Pendergast's Big Boot Boutique

I wrote this for a Terry Pratchett competition (in others words to get some free stuff, I'm easy like that).

Idea was to create your own Ankh-Morpork business. Now Ankh-Morpork strikes me as the kind of city where utter bell-ends would prosper (in business and elsewhere), so I wondered what kind of manipulative and shady practice would sell well.

And since praying on people's insecurities, however dangerous they may be, is always a way to make money, I came up with the below;

It probably won't win, and will never be seen again. But I rather like it.

GIMCRACK PENDERGAST'S BIG BOOT BOUTIQUE

Finding it hard to get your face seen?

Overlooked in the work place?

Trodden on in the tavern?

Worry no more, at Gimcrack Pendergast's Big Boot Boutique we specialise in all forms of raised footwear for dwarfs.

Raised heels. In-built shin stretchers. Spring loaded soles. Our boots have a thousand* ways to raise you above the opposition.

And remember, just because you’re a dwarf, doesn’t mean you have to be of a “miner” height.

Come to Gimcrack Pendergast's Big Boot Boutique, for the modern dwarf who wants to make it big in a man’s world. You’re never too big for our boots.

*Please note this figure is rounded up to the nearest thousand.